Archive for the ‘General’ Category

From earth, went forth, and back to earth,
The classic tale of any man.
‘Tis in-between that lights the heart
And differs us from man, to man.

Each one of us, was born the same
A soul of joy without a name
Blank slates; to write his own story
Either with mar, or with glory

Good enough is not good enough
Average just makes our lives more tough
No destiny is forged in steel
Nor fate: an impeccable seal

There is no fate of such hard range
That human act can never change
There’s not a thing we can’t obtain
Until we lend our mind a lease

Great men were born ordinary men
Sometimes they fail nine out of ten
When the storms of life comes close up
They give, and give, but not give up

From dung and mire, many have rose
They toil the day, even the night!
The path to glory’ll never close
‘Tis forever an open right

If you too walk the extra mile
Your legs will grace the golden aisle
Have faith in you, and remain true
‘Cause greatness too is meant for you

Written By Adetimilehin “Vic’Adex” Inioluwa

More about Vic
Adetimilehin “Vic’Adex” Inioluwa is a Nigerian poet and the
organiser at the We Can Get More From Life organisation.

His other writes can be found on
adetimilehin-inioluwa/ and

He’s studing Fine and Applied Arts in the Ladoke Akintola
university of Technology (Lautech)

Regularly repriminded for challenging the status quo,

Inioluwa is on a mission to arm everyday people with
knowledge that will make them get more from life and
transmutate them towards greatness

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The internet has been hailed as one of the greatest inventions of the modern age; a magical gateway to information, communication and resources unlike anything we could previously have dreamed of. Many have claimed that it is the greatest single technological advance for education,as it opens up opportunities for studying, discovering and learning that were hitherto unimaginable. But as time goes by and the first generation of students to truly grow up with modern internet technology from birth reach their teenage years, some have started to question whether students’ over-reliance on technology could be more of a burden than a blessing…


The internet provides students with the enormous advantage of a world of information at their fingertips. The simple act of tapping a search term into a keyboard can deliver a Google-selected list of hundreds of relevant articles in under a second– a far cry from the hours students would spend leafing through library books and journals in days gone by.

But with the internet’s ease of access come disadvantages too – false and inaccurate information is easily disseminatedand it can be difficult to accurately trace sources or corroborate information. Meanwhile, the sheer volume of research materials online can make it ‘too easy’ for students to find the information they need, allowing them to compile an entire roster of facts by copying and pasting without actually having to understand or analyse the information they are sifting through at all. Whilst a student twenty years ago would have had to read and digest a huge amount of information in order to put together a report on tree frogs, for example, using different sources for different parts of the project, a modern student would be able to discover everything they needed to know from a single internet site, picking up little knowledge in the process.


With the rise and rise of fantastic technological solutions for communication, from mobile phones to iPads to Skype and Facebook, a wealth of education opportunities have become available to modern students. Pupils from UK secondary schools can now hold online debates with a class of their contemporaries in the United States or beyond, whilst projects like class blogs, interactive group webpages and programs to design interactive online animations have allowed educational communication to blossom.

But at the same time, some argue that the over-reliance of modern teenagers on technology and devices such as mobile phones and laptops is taking its toll in other areas of education. Literacy and writing skills are said to be suffering as children write less and less longhand and text message expressions take precedence over traditional grammar. Simple communication skills and vital understanding of personal interaction are also said to be suffering, as young people spend increasing amounts of time online and communicate using their keyboards rather than face-to-face. Reliance on such methods of communication could be deeply detrimental to their ability to form healthy relationships with others in the long-run, concerned critics say, whilst they also open up dangerous possibilities of cyber-bullying and the persecution of young people online.


Another major flaw of teenagers’ over-reliance on modern technology is the ease with which students are able to plagiarise others’ work, whether intentionally or even without realising it. The more students come to rely on Wikipedia and Google to answer their homework questions, the less they are required to use their own minds to come up with independent thoughts and opinions. Instead, they are able to simply click, copy and paste.

The Solution?

It is clearly facetious to suggest the abandonment of technology in education, as the wealth of opportunities it provides to students is undeniable. But perhaps as we teach our children to use their electronic devices and internet access to learn and discover, we should also concentrate on encouraging them to develop as far as possible in other arenas too. E-communication is a fantastic resource but it should not be a substitute for face-to-face interaction and time spent outside with friends. Online research is an invaluable tool, but should be complimented by studying in libraries and reading books as well. And interactive learning and online teaching can be brilliant experiences, but they must not replace the vital dialogue and bond between teacher and pupil. By ensuring that our students remain educated in interpersonal and ‘real-world’ skills as well as electronic know-how, we can best prepare them to make the most of the opportunities technology has to offer without suffering any of the potentially detrimental consequences.

Increasing Concentration


  1. First understand clearly what concentration is:“Concentration is taking your mind off many things and putting it on one thing at a time.”
  2. Decide carefully what you want to concentrate on,for in many subtle and not-so-subtle ways, you become that which you focus on — that is, you take on the attributes of your chosen subject of concentration. Have you ever noticed how couples who have been married for many years start to look like each other, or how people often come to resemble their pets, their cars, their hobbies, or their work projects?
  3. Generally speaking, everyone has had experiences in total concentration. Go to a good adventure film at a movie theater. In the middle of it, stop watching the movie (this might be hard, but do it anyway) and look around at the people in the theater. What are they doing? They are absolutely still, eyes barely blinking, and their breath is slower. It would take a really major distraction to break their attention stream. These physiological signs may give you a hint about ways to increase your own concentration abilities.
  4. Some of the enemies of concentration skills are constant sensory input, multi-tasking, trying to do many things all at the same time, loud noises, and flashing light patterns. The human nervous system is a marvelous thing, but it is not built to function in the face of these things on a full-time basis. Attention deficit patterns come, at least to some extent, from the activities or situations which make concentration difficult to impossible. Then a habit of non-attention or inability to concentrate deeply is established and difficult to overcome.
  5. Make it a point to put your full concentration on whatever you are doing. Don’t let anything distract you. It really helps to be in a quiet place, but you can learn to block out noise if necessary.
  6. Understand the essential connection between concentration and energy. Deep concentration is a matter of increasing or directing your life-force or conscious, cosmic energy. The more of this kind of energy you have, the better. Scattered energy doesn’t help. It must be calm, focused energy. Learn to be calmly concentrated and be concentratedly calm.
  7. Learn and practice some physical and mental energization techniques. This is an important first step toward the ability to concentrate deeply.
  8. Take breaks. Go outside and breathe deeply or take a brisk walk. Make yourself do this often and you’ll be able to return to your task recharged and ready to focus more creatively.
  9. Meditation is the most powerful of all concentration enhancement techniques. Learn a few simple meditation techniques and practice them at least five minutes daily.
  10. A first step in the concentration aspect of meditation is to focus on watching your breath — not controlling it in any way, but just observing it. This helps to train yourself in taking your mind off of many things, and putting it on one thing at a time — in this case the breath. As you observe your breath, it will calm down, your brain will calm down also (this is a scientifically well-documented, mind-breath connective function), and you automatically move into a dynamic, peaceful (but not sleepy) state of being. Your mind becomes recharged and creatively receptive.

Take a few minutes and learn a simple meditation technique and You’ll be amazed at how this effects your concentration during your regular daily life.

 Courtesy- Himanshu Saxena


One of the trickiest dilemmas in a man’s life is balancing the demands of girlfriend and friends. On the one hand, women often insist (perhaps rightly) on the lion’s share of your time and attention, particularly in those loved-up early stages of a relationship.


On the other, your friends were there for you before she came along, and if things go pear-shaped they’ll be there for you when she’s gone. As long as you don’t mess them around too much, that is.


There are no easy answers, and much depends on the personalities involved. After all, she might be a possessive partner, or she might be one that values her own time outside the relationship and insists on plenty of it. But there are a few general rules that will help ensure everyone — including you — stays happy.


Don’t keep them apart
One conclusion some men leap to is that their best bet is to keep the two parties apart. Life becomes a regimented series of lads’ nights and girlfriend evenings, and never the twain shall meet.


The problems with this approach are many. First off, both sides will feel slighted and that means the anguished cry of “why are you embarrassed to introduce me to your friends?!” can’t be far away. Such an apartheid policy may even make her suspicious. Are you worried your friends will say something that contradicts the carefully censored life story you’ve constructed for her benefit?


And your friends won’t be happy either, if only because they’re desperate to tell your new love all sorts of stuff that contradict the carefully censored life story you’ve constructed for her benefit.


Get them all out together, sometimes
Accept that you can’t keep friends and partners apart forever and then accept that they’ll have to meet. In fact, getting everybody out at the same time — at least every now and then — isn’t a bad idea.


All being well, your friends will quickly come to see that your new girlfriend is fun, chatty and interesting, just as you told them she would be. More importantly, they’ll see that having a girl on the team is a handy asset when it comes to chatting up women in clubs, especially if some of those women are her single friends.


Equally, she’ll see that they are not rabid woman haters out to get her for taking away their drinking buddy. The more your girlfriend and friends bond, the more each party will be happy for you to spend quality time (ie alone) with the other.


Of course, there’s always the chance that a night of laddish, drunken behaviour will have the opposite effect. “If your partner doesn’t like a group of your friends, maybe she can be introduced to them separately,” says relationship counsellor Elly Prior. “The group may well behave differently than the individuals within it.”


But mostly keep them apart
Even if your friends and girlfriend do get on, don’t push it. One successful night out doesn’t mean your friends want your girlfriend at their monthly poker night, or that she wants them along on your Sunday evening cinema date. Getting the balance right also means keeping the strands of your life separate more often than not.


Plan everything
And keeping your girlfriend happy and friends friendly takes planning. The problem is that old habits die hard. Your friends might still expect you to go drinking at the drop of a hat — or to keep Friday nights as sacred “bloke” nights — just like you did when you were single. For her part, your girlfriend might start to assume that she gets first dibs on your time, and that friends can fight over whatever’s left.


Neither is a good way forward, so you have to plan time with each. It’s worth letting friends know that you might need a bit of warning (a fortnight?) if they’re planning a big night out or a day at the races/cricket/casino.


And the best way to keep your girlfriend sweet is to communicate often and early. The sooner she knows about a bloke-only occasion, the less chance there is you’ll mess up something she had planned.


Scheduling time for girlfriends and friends means writing dates in your diary, texting confirmations, and reminding all affected parties about upcoming events. OK, that doesn’t sound like cool seat-of-the-pants living, but it certainly makes life easier.


Respect her rights
It’s self-evident but often ignored. If you’re in a relationship, certain nights belong to your girlfriend either exclusively or alongside your friends, and we’re talking New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s Day, her birthday, your birthday and significant anniversaries, to name just the biggies.


Don’t fight against it. That’s just the way it is.


When you’re with her, be with her
When you’re out with her, don’t neglect her. In other words, don’t spend the evening texting your mates or receiving hilarious updates on the night they’re having. She’ll think you’d rather be out with them, and even if that’s true it’s a message you really don’t want to convey. When you’re out with your girlfriend, let your focus be on her.


Similarly, don’t think a night in with her is all that’s required to keep her sweet, regardless of what you do. “If you spend all evening in front of the telly watching sport with a six-pack, then rolling into bed drunk — well, that really is not going to cut it,” says Elly Prior. If you’ve got a big night planned with the lads on Saturday, make Friday a romantic night in with her. Then everybody’s happy.


It works both ways, of course. Your mates will be pretty cheesed off if you spend half the time down the pub nipping outside to check in with her, they may start to wonder why you bothered coming out at all.

Think high school is too early for your child to start thinking about a career? Not at all—in fact, the earlier the better. 

In research conducted for my upcoming book, to help young adults discover their interests and strengths while designing a portfolio of experiential learning to make themselves more marketable to employers, I interviewed 100 Gen Y’s about their school to career experiences and the lessons they learned in the process. 

My key finding? 

Those who began experimenting with their interests as early as high school—through internships, jobs and volunteer gigs—were on a successful career path by their late 20’s. Those who didn’t tended to struggle and feel unmoored for a longer period of time.

So what’s the best way to get started? 

Here are 5 things your child needs to know about careers as soon as possible:

1. Whatever you find interesting is a clue to your career path.

As a parent, you know how important it is to enjoy your work. And chances are your job, assuming you like it, includes focusing on things that interest you and that you find enjoyable. You can help your child think about the things he likes to do, and you can make it a project to Google interest areas with the term “career” after them. You’ll be fascinated to see that there is a career associated with virtually any interest you and he can come up with.

2. Having a mentor is critical to career success, so find one as early as you can.

A mentor is an individual, usually older, always more experienced, who helps and guides another individual’s development. This guidance is not done for personal gain, but typically because the mentor wants to encourage those interested in his profession, sees potential in a younger person, wants to leave a strong legacy, practice his management skills, or a combination of some or all of these things.

Mentoring is used in many settings. Although it is most common in business, it can be used in any career path. Having good mentors throughout one’s career is a tremendous asset.

If you’re assertive in helping your child find mentors beginning in high school, he will be ahead of the game. A mentor can come from virtually anywhere. Your child shouldn’t overlook his teachers and advisers while he’s in high school. 

Interested teachers can do a lot more than simply support kids in the classroom. Mentors can be teachers, but they can also be guidance counselors, administrators or coaches.

Other mentors may be a relative or to be more specific, a clothing designer or writer your child admires. They might be a business owner, a doctor or a physical therapist.

In other words the sky’s the limit, but the onus is on you and your child to figure out how to connect with the right people. Don’t worry so much about age—it’s more about the mentor’s experience and approximation to your child’s interest.

Your child should get in the habit of identifying mentors throughout her career. Among those I interviewed, mentors were critical in helping with internships, and internships frequently lead to full-time jobs after college.

3. Experimenting with internships is the best way to gain exposure to a possible career.

The only way to really find out if a career path is right for you is to try it out. It’s easy to think you might want to hang your hat on a particular career path only to find yourself disillusioned by the reality of actually doing the job.

Whatever ideas your child has about a career, make sure she tries it out through internships—more than one, if possible. Between the school year and during the summer, there are numerous opportunities to try something out in multiple environments, making contacts all along the way. 

While many internships are paid at the college level, it is more challenging, although not impossible, for high school students to find paid internships. 

Your child may have to supplement an unpaid internship with a paying job at the same time. However, if her skills are more specialized she can get paid, particularly if she has served as an unpaid intern in a similar capacity in the past.

4. Networking is still the number one way people find careers and jobs.

At all stages of life, networking is the key to staying connected to where the jobs are. 

First, here’s hoping you’re modeling good connecting skills for your child; encourage him to be in touch with interesting people both through social media and in person.

While it should be obvious to understand the importance of arriving on time for work and knowing how to make good conversation with adults, these are lifelong skills that needs to be fostered… right now! 

Believe it or not, likeability is the number one reason why people get hired, so help your child understand how to project a friendly, helpful, positive persona. — Knowing how to communicate easily and effectively will serve him well in whatever career he eventually winds up choosing.

5. Start your research early and make it a priority.

The job market continues to change at a rapid rate, and research skills are a hot commodity.Your child should know how to navigate the online world to gather the data and ideas he will need in any field.

Encourage him to spend time researching career paths and help him invigorate his research through one-on-one conversations with those in a field of interest. Conducting background research and generating ideas on how he can be helpful to organizations is an important skill he will use throughout his career.

Spending the time to conduct thorough background research will always keep him a step ahead of his peers, and now is the time to hone those skills.

With some help and encouragement from his parents, your child will develop the tools and skills that will serve him no matter what kinds of curve balls the economy throws in the future. And it’s never too early to start.

Allison Cheston is a New York City-based career adviser who works with mid-career executives and young adults who are in high school, college or are recent graduates. She blogs on career issues for young adults at In the Driver’s Seat, as well as at And she blogs for mid-career professionals at The Examiner. A marketer and inveterate networker with a background in executive search, Cheston is the author of an upcoming book designed to help young adults from late high school through college develop strengths and interests and match them to internships, coursework and, ultimately, the right career.


Allison Cheston is a New York City-based career adviser who works with mid-career executives and young adults who are in high school, college or are recent graduates. She blogs on career issues for young adults at In the Driver’s Seat, as well as at And she blogs for mid-career professionals at The Examiner. A marketer and inveterate networker with a background in executive search, Cheston is the author of an upcoming book designed to help young adults from late high school through college develop strengths and interests and match them to internships, coursework and, ultimately, the right career.



Source : FoxNews


Controlling sexual desire through immediate uprooting of impulses

Sex is the only thing that calls for vigilance. It is more than enough if sexual impulses are conquered. The impulses must be uprooted as soon as they arise, before they become thoughts of sex. Secondly, once there has been eye contact with anyone who arouses impulses of sexuality, you should immediately look away and change the inner visual link. Otherwise the sexual seedling will grow and even when it is tiny it will sow seeds for more sex. Therefore it is best to eradicate it when it is a mere sapling.

Stay as far away from the company of those who are likely to trap you in sexuality, because if you get trapped even once, you will keep on getting into trap after trap. Therefore run! You must run as far away from that person as possible.

You would not slip if you leave the place where there are chances of slipping. In satsang, there is no chance of meeting any other ‘files’ (people who tempt you sexually). People with the same goal of spiritual progress come together here, do they not?

Eradicate the sexual thought immediately. Do pratikraman for any attraction of a sexual nature. With these two weapons, brahmacharya will remain forever.

Become free from sexual desire through the unique technique: The Three Vision

Use the same experiment that I had used for myself. For me this experiment is constantly in place and it had kept me aware even before enlightenment. When my eyes fall on someone wearing beautiful clothes, a saree worth two thousand Rupees, I become aware and my first vision see her without clothes. Then a second awareness arises and I see the body without the skin and then the third awareness arises and I see the intestines, the kind you see when the stomach is cut open. I can also see changes that occur within the intestines. I can see blood vessels; I can see fecal matter etc. I can see all the refuse this way. Then there is no chance of sexual impulse arising, is there? In all this, the Soul is the only pure thing and that is where my vision stops. Therefore, how can any illusion over sex ever occur?

Shrimad Rajchandra has said, “All the miseries come to an end if you do not get deluded and see the pure Soul (within all).” We read in scriptures that you should not become attached to women but you forget this the moment you see a woman.

This is the illusion. It is a deluded view. If this illusion leaves, this view that ‘I am Chandulal (this body)’, and instead the right vision of, ‘I am pure Soul’, takes hold then all suffering comes to an end. Then the delusion will not happen and attraction will not occur.

Questioner: When a man looks at a woman and has sexual thoughts about her, is the woman also at fault, to some extent?

Dadashri: No, the woman is not at fault at all. Lord Mahavir‘s appearance was such that a lot of women were attracted to him, but this did not affect the Lord. Thegnansays that your actions should be with good intentions. Your dressing and conduct should be such that it does not attract the opposite sex. If your inner intents are pure then nothing can be harmed. Why did the Lord pluck all the hair on his head? He did that to avoid any sexual impulses arising in the minds of women who saw him. He had his hair removed so that they do not become a cause for ruining someone’s inner intent. As it is, Lord Mahavir was very attractive. He had the most beautiful body in the whole world.

source :

9 steps to improve your singing skills

Posted: March 26, 2013 in General

One of the most important skills to acquire from any vocal lesson is how to create good tone when singing. It’s an important skill no matter the gender of the performer or the genre they perform. But… what is good tone and how do you get it?

The truth is what’s “good tone” is a tough question to answer. The issue’s incredibly subjective. If you’re talking to someone who’s only into classical music they’re going to have a very different opinion than someone who’s into death metal. (I wonder is there such a thing as “Death Opera?” If not, maybe we should try it!)

However if you look at the idea of “good tone” in it’s purest form, good tone is the result of good technique. It’s that simple. The more aligned the mechanics of your voice, the more consistent and pleasing your tone becomes. Then after that’s established, if you want to mess with it and change things around to create more style, you’ll do it better than ever before. Even a growl will sound like a cooler growl.

A good balance of the registers, enough breath to do the job, not too much compression on the vocal cords and a clear sense of where you want to experience the resonance are all components of a technique that produces great tone.

Acquiring this ability includes a few basic steps:

  1. Relaxation when singing is very important. A tense singer will have a weak resonance and tone in their voice. Relaxing also inhibits the tendency to strain when attempting to hit notes at the edge or your natural range.
  2. Breathing is another key factor to getting good tone. Babies breathe properly, as only their stomachs move during the intake and release of the breath. As adults we often need to relearn this method of breathing, so practice taking in and releasing your breath with a minimum of movement from your chest and shoulders. But don’t get yourself knotted up trying to “do it right!” Sometimes just suck down a big pile of air and don’t worry about how you’re doing it. I see too many singers holding their breath or hardly inhaling at all.
  3. Develop consistent vocal warm-up techniques. Humming is suggested as a method to warm up the muscles your body will use while singing.
  4. Study your role models. Copy their performances. Imitate their voices. Do this with enough artists and eventually you won’t remember what belongs to whom. Then just go for it without thinking and see what shows up. You’re naturally creative and you can’t really do them anyway (they’re them) so you don’t have to worry about being “unoriginal.”
  5. Experiment with different types of music, and different performance styles. Find one that you are comfortable with and that allows you to stay relaxed and breathe properly. If a highly active performance style leaves you short of breath, get into the gym for god sakes!
  6. Get a job singing! Nothing can replace practice, and getting paid for it! So after you feel comfortable with the techniques described above, put yourself out there. Get used to singing in front of people. In addition to developing your vocal abilities, you will also be able to practice other very important aspects of a professional singer such as stage presence, and the ability to read a crowd and get in touch with their moods.
  7. Track your progress. Record yourself singing (you will be surprised at how different you sound at first!). Doing this once a month will help you detect areas of weakness you can improve and areas of strength to draw upon during a performance.
  8. Learn how to care for your voice. Avoid straining your vocal cords by yelling or screaming. Drink plenty of fluids, at least 64 fluid ounces of water a day to keep your vocal cords hydrated, but avoid dairy as they produce mucous which will make it hard to keep your throat clear. Smoking or being around smokers for extended periods of time should also be avoided. The chemicals in a cigarette can be damaging to vocal cords.
  9. Lastly, if you can budget it, find a voice coach. There’s no substitute for one-on-one coaching. Remember… you don’t know what you don’t know!



source : Steven memel